Money In The Bank

I have been thinking about being an ‘Empty Nester.’

It is a transition time in young adulthood for our grown children, and for us as Middle Agers. It is a time of change, a time of adjustment in practical as well as emotional ways.

Not all change is easy. As well as the practical changes involved in moving our grown children out of the house, there are also changes in expectations.

Will our oldest still keep in touch, even if by occasional text message or e-mail? Will she drop by when she’s in the area? Will she even think about us, as we are still thinking about her and wondering how she is managing this new phase of life? Will she share with us what is going on in her life? Or will she want to put emotional as well as physical distance between us?

I think of the fun times we have shared as she has grown up. The funny situations we shared, the inside jokes that only our family knows about, the common things that made us laugh together and brought some kind of cohesion in a world that seems to be constantly fracturing itself.

I wonder about the unintended wounds I left her with that we didn’t have time to talk about, the unresolved ‘issues’ between us. Will she find a mentor to help her achieve her goals? Someone to take her under their wings to help her discover and develop just where she is at in her stage of life, where she is going, and how she will get there?

All these are natural things for a parent to think about. They come from a Fatherly heart that still, even now after upsets and disagreements, cares for her well-being and safety.

Can I relax and let God continue to work in her life without my hovering over her? Can I allow her the freedom to choose her own beliefs, even if in some ways they are different from mine? Can I go to sleep at the end of the day wondering if that 1992 Buick will stall on her on a dark road late at night? Am I willing to let her make her own way and learn from her mistakes?

I feel like what I imagine the Prodigal Father in Luke 15 might have been like with his son. He had to let him go; it was time. He had two sons: I have two daughters. We are the same except that our youngest daughter is in University, and comes home on holidays and some weekends.

What did it feel like for him to let his son go? Unlike the Prodigal Father, I didn’t have any inheritance money to give my daughter to set herself up in a new life. I wish I had. But the fact I didn’t means that I cannot control her with finances. I cannot withdraw my monetary support, because there wasn’t any to begin with. Maybe that’s a Blessing in disguise. She should know, though, that she still has my emotional and prayerful support.

My oldest  daughter has a job, and a place to live. Maybe that is all that is needed here. Except that I wonder about her relationship with her Heavenly Father.

I keep wondering if I failed her in presenting her with a less than perfect earthly illustration of  what the Heavenly Father is like.

It’s natural and desirable for our young adult children to ‘go their own way.’ After all, we don’t want them to stay at home and not venture out to discover who they are in God without our desire to control them, if only for the sake of their moral, intellectual, spiritual and physical protection.

When all is said and done, my wife and I did the best we could with what we had. We entrusted her to God on the day of her baby dedication. We realized that she was only ‘on loan’ to us for a Time and several Seasons.

The Prodigal Father in Luke’s Gospel watched for his son every day, wondering if this would be the day he would return to ‘mend the fences,’ to restore the relationship, to enjoy being rightly related.

Even though my daughter cannot live with us again because of the rules involved with our rented apartment, she is always welcome to stop by, watch TV with us, enjoy a meal together, and share a laugh or two about the absurdity of the world we live in and how we make our way in it.

So, even as I ponder these things, I have entrusted my daughter into the care of our Heavenly Father and I know, that I know, that I know, that even though she might not be thinking about Him and His will for her life, He will never leave nor forsake her. 

That’s like money in the bank.

It's what we say in the United Kingdom --if your money is in The Bank of England it is 'safe as houses' .

PRAYER: Thank you, Heavenly Father, that You number the hairs on our head, You know about the number of our days before there were any of them, You watch over us, and You know about every sparrow that falls to the ground. You are Omnipresent, Omniscient, Omnipotent. May these thoughts comfort us when we realize that we are not in control, You are! Help me to let go of my tendency to worry about my grown children and to let them be who they are in Your Tender Care. Thank you for Your Goodness and Greatness toward us. Amen